There are different reasons why partners tend to breakup from their relationship that use to be rosy and filled with love before the breaking up. First of all, before any relationship can work there must be trust, communication, respect, a difference in priorities, and good intimacy. Here are 3 important things we should consider before getting married.
LACK OF OBSERVATION
MARRY BECAUSE OF PHYSICAL FEATURES(LUST)
CHARACTER VS BEHAVIOUR OF YOUR SPOUSE
LACK OF OBSERVATION
The purpose of a relationship is for two people to share a type of mutual friendship that allows both parties to truly get to know each other, trust and respect each other for who they are. if you genuinely know this, then i don't think any relationships should suffer any form of abuse or whatsoever that is not healthy. one of the reasons why dating your spouse to be for at least 1 year is so important before you think about marriage is to observe each other characters, behaviors and how you do things. this period will give you a clue of who you are actually trying to marry.
This period of dating is when you should align your relationship goals, what you want and what you don't want in a partner. make sure you observe every details about your partner to the best of your knowledge and align it with your relationship goals if it matches what you want. reasons for this is because you don't want to regret your future decision when you decide to get marry to him/her. For example;
If you like smoking and you wouldn't let anyone feel uncomfortable with your smoking or tell you to stop smoking. this is the time you have to observe if your spouse can actually get along or not. if you see that he or she is okay with it, that means in future that wouldn't be a problem. but if you see that he or she is not okay with it and he or she is playing along because of the love you have for each other. then, you might want to re-think your decision. or maybe your sex drive is too high than that of your partner and you are the type that always want to have sex morning, afternoon, and night and your partner couldn't handle that 3 time sex in a day. then, you might want to re-think your decision. because that is totally a red flag that will breakup your marriage as time goes on.
Remember: You don't marry out of pity. You marry because you want it and both partner involve want it.
MARRY BECAUSE OF PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
I know the first thing that attract your significant other to you is usually their physical quality. sometimes it might be their beauty, handsomeness, dressing, walking, hips, boobs, butt and the list goes on. This is what you can called "Lust" at first sight instead of the usual saying " love at first sight".
Well, let me start by saying there's nothing wrong in getting lust in a woman's beauty or man's handsomeness. but one thing that should be very clear is that don't use that as a bases for your marriage. else that relationship stand a chance of failing 80% out of 100%.
Physical attributes shouldn't be the bases for your relationship or marriage and the reasons are that simple! Ask yourself if the beauty of this woman is no longer there due to one accident or the other, will you still love her? or if the handsomeness you found in him is no longer present will you still love him? if your answer is YES, that means your love and your relationship was never based on physical attraction which should be the goal of every relationship. but if you see beauty and physical attraction more important than a personal qualities and attributes possess by your partner, then I'm afraid for such relationship.
Sometimes this has been one of the major problem with relationships of today. even though is clear to us that he or she only has that physical attraction but doesn't have other personal qualities that aligned with the type of relationship goals we wanted, we still forge ahead to continue with such relationship because we find it hard to let go that physical attraction and then to end up with a disaster and a toxic relationship or marriage.
We have to be able to really know what we want and have control over our want as against our lust. because this is one of the things that will actually give us a peace of mind we want in our relationship or marriage. don't trade it for a mere physical attraction.
CHARACTER VS BEHAVIOUR
I will start by saying this saying that says "whatever behavior you learn to exhibit can also be totally do away with" which means some of us tends to learn some behavior that might not be healthy for our relationship or marriage and we just have to let go. behaviors are something we learn and when it comes to relationship, both partner should find a way to compromise on them in other to bring peace and healthy life to their relationship. Sometimes you can also help each other to do away with it, provided you both consent to it. On the other hands, a character of a person is a trait that make him unique in his own way. this trait are so difficult to compromise on, neither is it easy to do away with. so when it come to relationship, both partner would have to decided if they can tolerate each other characters. If you find any of this characters not welcoming to your personality is better you let it know to your partner and discontinue the relationship before its too late. don't even bother to thinking you can change that persons character because is totally impossible except God intervene. Now, it seems like I'm sounding spiritual right! but that is the truth.
This is why you see couples after 4years of marriage they keep complaining about their spouse character and the worse part is that they will tell you they noticed those characters before they marry each other but thought they could help change the situation. NO! you can't rather the situation will change you. Is like you knowing "He's" is a master degree holder in "Womanology" LOL meaning he sleeps around with women and you still went ahead to get marry to him. you can't expect less than a cheating husband. Period!
So, you have to be really decide on what you want if you are ready to put on with your partners character or you quit playing a deadly game that can cost you in the long run. these 3 reasons is common among many marriages and relationships of today and you just have to be wise when you ready to settle down with someone.